Rare Pair Madness '21

[valiantbarnes]

Hello Creator!! Thank you for writing for me. The length/content under each pairing is in no way an indication of preference, just the thoughts I had at the time of writing.

✔ General likes:
Fake relationship ● undercover for some reason ● secret relationship ● loyalty kink ● loyalty kink taken too far or inverted! ● possessiveness ● competence ● magical realism ● dark humour ● murder for fun and profit ● fuck or die shenanigans ● casual body horror from non/in-human characters ● dubcon ● power dynamics/imbalance ● size kink ● strength kink ● sadomasochism ● violence and gore ● biting + marking ● happy endings ● knife play ● cultural miscommunication ●

❌ DNWs:
Major character death of requested characters ● watersports ● scat ● vomit as kink ● graphic depictions of pregnancy/birth ● character bashing ● cancer/terminal illnesses ● genderbenders or cisswaps ● sex taking place in public bathrooms/toilet stalls ● characters de-aged/age regression ● use of ‘whore/prostitute’ in dirty talk ● voyeurism of an uninvited/unwanted third party ● coming out based angst ● first or second person pov (not including epistolary works) ● racism/homophobia/transphobia/ableism/misogyny as the main focus/a large element ● characters under 15 in sexual situations

Hades

Achilles/Patroclus/Zagreus

I like the complexity, especially in canon where Achilles has already rejected Zagreus. I also like thinking about what could happen if Achilles did accept Zag before his reunion with Pat, or if Pat and Zag had started up their own relationship before Patrochilles sorted everything out, and how this could play out with their relationship dynamic. I also like Zag being unsure of his place in their relationship - unsure if he's actually in the relationship, or if he's just friend they hang out with and fuck sometimes (this can also go hand in hand with Achilles already having rejected Zag's romantic affection before.) That said, happy, established P/Z/A is also fantastic!

Naruto

Haruno Sakura/Hoshigaki Kisame/Uchiha Itachi

Sakura being a BAMF and catching the attention of two extremely hot missing nin? Yes please! I gotta admit, I love any positive interaction between Itachi and any of Sasuke's former teammates. The angst potential is excellent. I don't know how it would work, or how they'd meet in a way that wouldn't mean instant fight/flight, but I think they could balance each other out (with a well written Sakura; rip to canon Sakura.)

Sai/Uzumaki Naruto

Sai switching his loyalty from Danzo and Root to Naruto and all the unhealthy (and probably unknown, considering Naruto) power dynamics that can spring from that. Trust and loyalty and devotion. I have to admit, I love battle spouses, especially when their specialities are so diverse! Sai learning who he is as a human, what he likes, and realising that he really, really likes Naruto. Two socially oblivious fools doing their best to date. Both Sai and Naruto learning how to be in a relationship and how to support each other!!

Hoshigaki Kisame/Uchiha Itachi

They were partners for so many years!! They clearly cared about each other!!! Leaf vs Mist ideas about team mates and loyalty and relationships. What does it mean to trust your back to a missing nin when you know you're a spy? How do you spend so many years living and working with someone while knowing you're betraying them and the organisation they believe in - all for the village which forced you to slaughter your clan?? Does Itachi - brought up under strict Uchiha guidelines on what's proper, what's suitable in a partner, etc - get really, really hot for how inhuman Kisame is? How inhuman is Kisame, really?

Hyuuga Neji/Uzumaki Naruto

Vibe is: I think they're both pretty and deserve better from Konoha. Neji's anger is expressed poorly but extremely valid and I want him to have nice things.

 

Inuzuka Kiba/Uzumaki Naruto

Feral! Let them both be feral creatures and fuck. Maybe they're both territorial by nature by Kiba's had clan training to know how to manage it and Naruto has not. Kiba realising that Naruto is mostly feral and deciding that, if no one's going to teach him how to behave, then he'll do it? Naruto decides to ask Kiba out but he's not stupid enough to try something from an Icha Icha book and someone advises him to follow his instincts so... gifting fresh, dead prey to Kiba? Inuzuka clan genetics or physiologies? Sparring/fighting to fucking? Animalistic ninja having 'weird' quirks? Kiba/Naruto has had a crush on the other since the academy?

Pet Shop of Horrors

Count D/Leon Orcot

Let!! Them!! Be happy!!! The way their relationship grew and changed over the series was great! And the way that the appearance of Chris helped both of them. Oh, the found family of it all! Also, Leon can sometimes hear the animals which was never explored at all for some reason? The way that Leon turns ride or die for D - and earlier then he even realises. The pep talks about how he'll find something to charge D with soon are increasingly both lackluster and too fervant to be believed. God, they just had such a great dynamic and the end was so tragic and Leon searched for D for YEARS. Like, two decades iirc! The stubborn loyalty of it all.

 

P-chan/Angelica Winston

(They're the woman and winged human/bird from the very first chapter.) They got such a raw deal! AU where D tells Angelica what finding P-chan a mate entails, or she goes to check on them earlier and fights off the female. She just wanted P-chan to be happy! Maybe to feel like she had control after realising how little she had in her own life, or because she wanted someone she loved so much to be happy even if she couldn't be, or maybe because she was clinging desperately to the hope that an arranged pairing could end in happiness. Whatever her motivation, neither she nor P-chan deserved what happened and I want them to have a happy ending.

ワンパンマン | One-Punch Man

 

Badd | Metal Bat/Garou

They fight and they fuck! Agression and blood lust and maybe the quiet moments, some sort of blood splattered afterglow or a bottle of water shared between them. Teaming up together to fight a bigger threat. Zenko's friend with Tareo and Badd sees Garou with the kids and realises that maybe there's more to the hero hunter than violence. Accidentally getting to know someone too well. Realising that you don't hate someone as much as you thought.

Garou/Saitama

I have loved them from their first interaction. Would love it if Garou had actually fought Saitama during his hero hunter phase, what his reaction would have been to being beaten so easily. Can someone have an anti-disciple? I barely even know what that means, but that is what Garou would have done. I firmly believe that Garou could eventually match Saitama and I think that situation would also be interesting. I don't think Saitama would ever let someone who could match him blow for blow get away from him - the potential for it to make him actually feel things would be too much to pass up.

Garou/Satoru | Mumen Rider

Mumen is so nice!! Honestly the ideal hero! How does Garou deal with realising that, after what he did? I think Mumen would be an absolute freak in bed. Man's too nice. He cannot be vanilla all the way through! Garou trying to make amends to the only hero he beat the shit out of who's actually, y'know, a hero. ...Mumen misconstruing entirely and thinking Garou's threatening him - for sex?? Mumen is... not not into it. Once again, someone seeing Garou with Tareo and realising that maybe he's not such a bad guy after all. Mumen low key helping to rehabilitate Garou's image - or just Garou himself. Like befriending an angry, feral cat.

 

Saitama/Suiryu

I just like Suiryu, tbh. Vibe is: well, if I can't be your disciple... wanna date?

 

Saitama/Sonic

Saitama honestly thinks Sonic's smile is nice and I live for it. Sonic is also extremely obsessed with Saitama, despite Saitama barely remembering Sonic exists. Sonic could really use that to his advantage! If he approached Saitama without trying to fight him, maybe wearing a different outfit, I honestly do not think Saitama would recgonise him. Maybe he'd think Sonic was kinda familiar? But that's it. We love a dumb egg. Also: Sonic ultra bendy.

 

Garou/Genos/Saitama

I love the idea of Genos having to share and, eventually, learning to like it. I do not know how this pairing would come about. Garou ends up living in Z city cause it's deserted and no rent + an actual roof and water = a winning combination tbh. Sets up in the apartment next to theirs? Garou hanging around for hero hunting/anti-disciple reasons and accidentally striking up a friendship with Genos over some interest they both have, like fighting or Saitama or food. Maybe Garou is like 'I will eat anything, since I'm used to eating nothing' and Genos's brain makes the connection between feral, unsocialised alley cat and Garou; decides to feed him. Saitama wonders when three people started living in his apartment.

陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)

Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín/Mèng Yáo | Jīn Guāngyáo

The divorced couple energy is off the charts and I love it; messily divorced energy, as well. First, I feel sorry for Qin Su but... lets just ignore her, have her married to someone else/not in the picture, unless you're giving JWY and entire crisis + guilt spiral about fucking a married man. Given his parents, I feel like that would really set him off. JGS helping or 'helping' him through that crisis; twisting the knife, maybe. They literally raise a kid together!! You don't spend 13 - 16 years raising a kid together and not get to know each other. JGY realising, several years into this thing he has with JWY that he... actually likes this sad, angry man. Guanyin temple but JWY and JGY have been fucking for a decade and know just what to say to hurt each other the most. JGY craves control and JWY is desperate to not have to be in charge all the time, to have someone else make the decisions.

Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín/Lán Jǐngyí

I read some fic and now I'm in deep. No thoughts, head empty. The vibe is: sometimes you fuck your best friend's hot Uncle and that's okay (so long as your best friend never, EVER finds out.)

Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín/Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn

God the angst, the miscommunication, the POTENTIAL. All three men are so inclined to ride or die it's a bit ridiculous, tbh. Loyalty kink to the max. I really feel like, without all of the shit that happened getting in the way, all three of them would get along well! They could grow together and make each other better people! Or, WWX torn between two people he loves and really fucked up about it. Alternatively, WWX comes back from the dead and JWY and LWJ have to pretend they haven't been hate fucking for a decade+. How would that impact on the story, on their relationships with each other?

 

Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín/Niè Míngjué

I think dual cultivation would've helped da-ge to chill tf out and live a bit longer (not factoring in the murder). Maybe they fell into bed together during the war. Maybe during an intersect conference. Idk how it could happen or work or anything, I just think these two very intense, very emotional men could have some smoking hot sex and maybe help balance each other out.

Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín/Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī

They were on a road trip for three months, searcing for the same person they both cared about deeply, and they still only kind of tolerate each other? Bullshit! They're friends! And maybe they found comfort in each other, or maybe they helped each other when they mourned, or maybe A-Yuan was raised between Gusu and Yunmeng because they both consider him WWX's son. In a weird relationship where WWX's ghost is their silent but extremely noticable third. Complete AU where WWX isn't even a factor, for whatever reason, and they're just in a cosy relationship.

人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù

Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū/Yuè Qīngyuán

The angst potential!!! The idea of SY doing his best to stumble through his end of the SQQ + YQY relationship fuck up is excellent. Maybe he thinks SQQ/YQY were in a relationship and acts like it in private, causing much joy but confusion on YQY's part. Falling in love with YQY and thinking that YQY won't ever love him, he'll always be thinking of SJ. Shen Yuan who also grew up with SJ & YQY and falls in love with Qi ge and thinks that YQY only sees him as a stand in for the out of reach SJ! YQY slowly realising that the SQQ he knew has changed forever and falling in love with this new version. Realising that SY & SJ are different people but loving SY anyway. Realising that SJ is gone forever, or perhaps permanently changed, and deciding he will keep this SQQ - who actually speaks to him! spends time with him! - by his side, no matter the cost.

 

Liǔ Qīnggē/Luò Bīnghé/Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū/Yuè Qīngyuán

Imagine if they could all be happy and no one was left out! I do not know how they would balance everyone's personalities but I believe it can be done!

 

Luò Bīnghé/Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū/Yuè Qīngyuán

I think that LBH and YQY are... extremely similar, to be honest. They way the express themselves is different but they are both super ride or die in extremely unhealthy ways. If they somehow managed to join forces, I do not think SQQ would ever manage to go anywhere unaccompanied ever again. I'd also like to see LBH and YQY manage to find more in common that just SQQ; I think they could also be good for each other!

 

Luò Bīnghé/Original Luò Bīnghé/Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū

Being jealous of your own self, hating yourself on a visceral level - literally trying to beat the shit out of yourself! All for the love of SQQ. Devotion to insane, sickening degrees; desperation. Being unable to share even with yourself but having to, anyway, (and maybe being begrudingly pleased by it because the only man he's ever loved is still you.)

我嗑了对家x我的cp | I Ship My Adversary X Me - PEPA

Gu Yiliang/Wei Yanzi

Wei Yanzi's 'wow I can pretend my cp is real! company mandated fake quasi-relationship!' versus Gu Yiliang's 'I will be Wei Yanzi's sugar daddy' really is a spectacle, huh. What absolute dumb fucks. Incomprehensible. Truly delightful. The shenanigans they get up to are great and I love their chaotic but kind energy. They really do just care about each other so much! Whenever I try to think of something coherent to say about why I like them all I can think about is Gu Yiliang chain smoking for the length of 3 cigarettes before he decides he can be a man's sugar daddy - that is not a long time! They really did both jump in head first and did not regret a thing.